Late, but Never Forgotten Memory

When I was writing the update post on Thursday it came to my realization that I never did a blog about when Ross came home. At the time it felt like a very personal experience that I wasn't sure I wanted people to be a part of, but then I remembered how many people we had backing our little family up for that time and I think it was a pretty awesome moment in our lives. So, here we go. Four and a half months late, but here is that amazing night.

Ross had left his FOB a week or so before, but thankfully we had a website that kept us at home updated when the welcome home ceremony would be. To most that was not needed, but for some reason Ross and I had very little contact that week and I was very happy for that website.

We were the fourth or fifth ceremony from this particular deployment and every single one had been delayed anywhere from 3-30 hours late. I was a little internally torn on this, because our ceremony was scheduled to be at 2:30 am and I was not looking forward to taking Levi out of his warm bed and having a potentially very upset 18 month old to damper the excitement.

I had two very dear friends offer to either take Levi for the evening or come stay at our house with him, so I could go see Ross and not have to be concerned with Levi's attitude. I really went back and forth, because I didn't want to have a screaming child, but I also could not imagine being Ross and not seeing Levi as soon as I were home. After much deliberation over the matter, I decided to take him with me. A very close friend was going to be there, because her husband was also coming home, so I would at least have company to help entertain Levi until the festivities begun.

I had spent so much time thinking about what I was going to do with Levi, that I had kind of forgotten about cleaning the house, getting both vehicles in order, buying groceries, finishing unpacking from our return from Oklahoma, and taking care of myself. Ross was scheduled to return on a Friday night, which meant Thursday and Friday were a whirlwind of preparation. Somehow (only with the help of a friend) I was able to accomplish everything and get myself mentally prepared for Ross's return.

You wouldn't think that one would need to prepare for the return of a loved one. Especially one who you were able to communicate fairly regularly with over the 8 months of separation. But when one of the people has been through things that they don't particularly want to discuss and has been in an ENTIRELY different type of lifestyle for a long amount of time, preparation is needed.

But, what nobody tells you is that there is no possible way to truly prepare yourself for their homecoming. We, the loved ones at home, will never truly understand what is like to be away in the sense they were. We will never be able to know what it was like to not shower because someone forgot to order water. Or sometimes get food poisoning, because you don't want to offend those who invite you to dinner and feed you undercooked meat. We will never know what it is like to return home and feel like every passing vehicle is a potential threat. Or how a speaker crackle in a store can make your heart race. Nobody told me to prepare for those things.

I knew to vacuum the dog hair up, have the dishes done, buy him new deodorant, have his phone charged, mine CONSTANTLY on me, and other piddly things. I broke the news to close friends and some family on Friday afternoon that Ross would be arriving home that night. Due to security reasons, we were asked to not be overly public with that information. I received many heartwarming messages of encouragement and excitement. That only helped build my excitement which was pretty much already through the roof.

I checked the clock repeatedly. I questioned if I should sleep for an hour or just power through. I checked the clock more. I talked to our parents and brought them up to date on things. Checked the clock again. Decided to shower and forget the nap. As I was beginning to get into the shower (at 9:51pm) I received this text "We just landed". It was sent from our friends phone and it was the most comforting text I have ever received. Three simple words can make you feel whole again, but still so very distant. It took everything in me to not go and find Ross at the airfield. I had been patient long enough!

That was the only message I got from Ross the rest of the evening. I met a friend out side of the gym at 2 am with Little Man in tow. We did nervous chit chat and found a place to stand along the back wall. Ross and I had discussed a week or so before that we would meet when they were released, at the pull-up bars. Bettie laughed at me when I had to ask for sure where they were, but luckily we were about ten feet away from them.

Looking around the gymnasium, there are loved ones, friends, coworkers, commanders, wives, children, parents, grandparents, and so many others all there with the same purpose. I decided I wasn't going to bring a sign, because hauling Levi and his gear was enough to keep up with. Now I do wish I had put a little more effort into that just for memory's sake.

The music was upbeat and happy, trying to keep nerves at bay I believe. And then it became more patriotic. Much more patriotic. I have never been more nervous, excited, proud, mentally exhausted, or any other emotion, all at once. And when the guys began to march in, the cheers erupted and the tears began to well up and 200+ tiny flags began to wave in excitement. There is nothing like seeing one of these ceremony's. I was soaking it all in when Bettie exclaimed, "There's Steve!" Good. One step closer to having these guys home with us. And then I saw him.

I saw his broad shoulders and his "all business" look on his face. My husband was home.

I cannot tell you what the commander said in his speech. I'm sure he said the words "proud" and "America" and probably something else, but I don't know. I do know he said the word "released" and the chaos began. I stood there for a second, because I could still see where Ross was, but he couldn't see us. He was still headed towards the pull-up bars! When we caught each others attention, the tears didn't just well up, they fell.

We had waited for a long time for that hug. I had waited to show Ross how big Levi had gotten and the changes he had made from when Ross left him as a 10 month old and came home to this walking, talking, insane 18 month old. I had longed to feel our family together again and not be anticipating separation. It was everything I had waited for and more.

We were able to get Ross's bags and be home around 4 am. Levi was an absolute trooper. He took right to Ross like I could not have even dreamed of. We stayed up once we were home and Levi and Ross played and read books. Levi still called the computer "Dada" for a couple weeks and we had a couple rough patches, but it went as smooth as possible. 

This is an experience that has changed each of us, changed our family, changed our minds, and changed our desires. I do not care to spend that kind of time apart ever again, but if Ross is called for another tour, we know we can handle it.