Human Nature
I am known for being a top notch worrier. I will worry about pretty much anything. My mom always teased me growing up that the question of "paper or plastic?" at the grocery store would send me over the edge. While it is a bit extreme, she isn't far off. But for some reason, I am not worrying about Ross during this deployment.
We were assured about 100 times before Ross's team left, that this was a safe deployment and that there was nothing to worry about. I, being the worrier that I am, am not typically comforted by things like that at all. This time however, it worked.
The three month mark of Ross being away from us is approaching in the next couple of weeks. After spending so much time away from each other while Ross was in college, this doesn't seem as unnatural as people would think. We haven't done time apart for this long in about 7 years, but I guess part of life is like riding a bike. Ross and I went right back to our norm of video chatting (different provider than our West Point days, but with the same results), Facebook messaging, and telling each other daily that we cannot wait to see the other. Pedal, pedal, pedal...
My lack of worrying has led to a strange nervousness instead. My thoughts are on what life will hold for us in the weeks after Ross returns home. I know that I am looking 6+ months into the future and that it isn't good for my mentality, but things are going to be nuts. I find myself wondering when I should head back to NY to get Levi and I back into the North Country living. I am looking at dresses for the St. Barb's Ball that won't be until December (I am using it as a goal to say goodbye to the Levi belly!). I am trying to figure out when the best time for Ross and I to go on our three years later honeymoon and where we should go (Suggestions accepted!). Already working on the financial prospects of how to swing utilities, groceries, a move, and hopefully a car payment after Ross returns home. Pedal, pedal, pedal.
As I pedal along on this familiar bike, I get tired and want to call Ross. Yesterday was one of those days. Things started going around about some changes to the time it would take for Ross's next promotion. That is something I normally would just call or text Ross and ask what it meant. Instead I read the article 5 times to try and understand how it would affect us, but still came up with nothing. It isn't a huge deal, but it would still change some of the tentative plans we have going. But then again, look how good Ross and I follow plans... We do have Levi...:)
It is pretty frustrating to not be able to just call or text your spouse. It feel very unnatural to not be able to talk to them as you please. We are EXTREMELY blessed to be able to talk every day, so I am not complaining at all. I am simply beginning to feel the frustrations of not being able to do what I want (you are allowed to read that in a whiny children's voice) all while not seeing the end as closely as I'd please.
We have truly sailed through these first 78 days. We have had very few issues. Levi has gotten three teeth (currently working on more), and we have battled a stomach virus and a cold. But those things are nothing when I think of the blessings of family and friends that Levi and I have been blessed with since arriving back in Oklahoma. Ross's cousin is watching Levi while I work and I will be eternally grateful for her and her family. Every Thursday and Friday I am greeted at their front door by Maggie's smiling face and typically two happy little ones. Eli and Anna aren't always pleased that Levi has returned, but by the time I'm headed out the door to go to work, the three of them are figuring things out. It is the biggest surprise blessing we have received being here and I cannot sing enough praises to Maggie and her patience.
I have so many more things that I am grateful for, but the life of being a mom is creeping in. Levi has napped for most of this blog entry and is now waking up. Plus side to the teething game is that Little Man has been taking two hour morning naps! It doesn't always make me forget that we still aren't sleeping through the night, but I sure do enjoy taking my time to shower :)
We were assured about 100 times before Ross's team left, that this was a safe deployment and that there was nothing to worry about. I, being the worrier that I am, am not typically comforted by things like that at all. This time however, it worked.
The three month mark of Ross being away from us is approaching in the next couple of weeks. After spending so much time away from each other while Ross was in college, this doesn't seem as unnatural as people would think. We haven't done time apart for this long in about 7 years, but I guess part of life is like riding a bike. Ross and I went right back to our norm of video chatting (different provider than our West Point days, but with the same results), Facebook messaging, and telling each other daily that we cannot wait to see the other. Pedal, pedal, pedal...
My lack of worrying has led to a strange nervousness instead. My thoughts are on what life will hold for us in the weeks after Ross returns home. I know that I am looking 6+ months into the future and that it isn't good for my mentality, but things are going to be nuts. I find myself wondering when I should head back to NY to get Levi and I back into the North Country living. I am looking at dresses for the St. Barb's Ball that won't be until December (I am using it as a goal to say goodbye to the Levi belly!). I am trying to figure out when the best time for Ross and I to go on our three years later honeymoon and where we should go (Suggestions accepted!). Already working on the financial prospects of how to swing utilities, groceries, a move, and hopefully a car payment after Ross returns home. Pedal, pedal, pedal.
As I pedal along on this familiar bike, I get tired and want to call Ross. Yesterday was one of those days. Things started going around about some changes to the time it would take for Ross's next promotion. That is something I normally would just call or text Ross and ask what it meant. Instead I read the article 5 times to try and understand how it would affect us, but still came up with nothing. It isn't a huge deal, but it would still change some of the tentative plans we have going. But then again, look how good Ross and I follow plans... We do have Levi...:)
It is pretty frustrating to not be able to just call or text your spouse. It feel very unnatural to not be able to talk to them as you please. We are EXTREMELY blessed to be able to talk every day, so I am not complaining at all. I am simply beginning to feel the frustrations of not being able to do what I want (you are allowed to read that in a whiny children's voice) all while not seeing the end as closely as I'd please.
We have truly sailed through these first 78 days. We have had very few issues. Levi has gotten three teeth (currently working on more), and we have battled a stomach virus and a cold. But those things are nothing when I think of the blessings of family and friends that Levi and I have been blessed with since arriving back in Oklahoma. Ross's cousin is watching Levi while I work and I will be eternally grateful for her and her family. Every Thursday and Friday I am greeted at their front door by Maggie's smiling face and typically two happy little ones. Eli and Anna aren't always pleased that Levi has returned, but by the time I'm headed out the door to go to work, the three of them are figuring things out. It is the biggest surprise blessing we have received being here and I cannot sing enough praises to Maggie and her patience.
I have so many more things that I am grateful for, but the life of being a mom is creeping in. Levi has napped for most of this blog entry and is now waking up. Plus side to the teething game is that Little Man has been taking two hour morning naps! It doesn't always make me forget that we still aren't sleeping through the night, but I sure do enjoy taking my time to shower :)
Hang in there girl! I am impressed by your positive outlook. And you are a great writer.
ReplyDeleteI have an idea--when you're dying to talk to Ross, talk out loud to Jesus. He hears you without skype or anything. You may not hear Him audibly back, but I'll bet your spirit is lifted.
i actually did read that one sentence in a whiny, high pitched, childs voice....
ReplyDelete